family motto

The Thurman family 2011 motto:
"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."
Amen.

Hassie Clare told me the other night as I was tucking her into bed that my hair looked like Cruella Ba Bill (Cruella Deville) cause it was half black and half white. The next day she asked me what the black sticks were on my legs. Needless to say, I've recently had my roots done and I shaved my legs. 

Did this past month really happen or was it just a bad dream?

I'll catch up soon. I promise. I think I can, I think I can.

More "what ifs"

I was downloading pics and videos off my camera today and I came across this video. I was laughing hysterically at Hassie Clare and Quinn until I heard the lyrics to the song in the back ground "everything could change in just one minute" and then I got goose bumps and cried like a baby. Then I would see Quinn do a funny, dramatic ballet (sort of) move and I would bust out laughing again. This video was taken right before midnight on New Year's Eve. The night before we almost lost Jamie.

After showing Jamie this video, he said that he didn't feel well when we were having Dance Party USA in the playroom. In fact, he said he was nauseous and dizzy during this song. Hello .... freakin heart attack #1. But he still sat there next to me with a smile on his face while we took video of our little ballerina's putting on a show for us. Ignorance is bliss I guess. Lesson learned!


Please excuse the inappropriate attire but that is how we roll in this family.


I'm ridiculously thankful that this was not our last great night together as a family.

It's official ... I'm married to an old man!

My significant other, partner, lover, best friend and soul mate turned 40 today. We were suppose to be in Disney World with our daughters celebrating his birthday but something "unexpected" came up a few weeks ago (see blog entry dated 1/10/11)! So, we rescheduled the Disney trip and I decided I would buy him a new TV. He has wanted one for years.

We dropped the girls off at Nana and Pawpaw's and headed to Best Buy. Of course I went in with a budget and size. But of course he feel in love with one that was twice my budget. So he tucked his head, poked his lip out and looked at me with those big brown eyes and said, "It would make my heart feel better." Without a second thought I told the salesman SOLD (after I got him to knock 10% off of course)!



HAPPY 40th BIRTHDAY JAMIE!!!!!



Six Minutes

Happy New Year - NOT

Saying the year started off on a bad note is an understatement. The good news is that I survived the worst day of my life. The better news is that Jamie survived the worst day of my life. I would say that it was the worst day of Jamie's life but he doesn't remember most of it ...... so.....

Here is a run down of the facts:

•  We went to the ER on New Year's Day because Jamie felt some pain in his shoulders and he was a bit nauseous the night before. He has had a pain in his chest for the past several months when he would exert himself. Our family doctor just blew it off and said he was fine (for the record he is no longer our doctor). We were both off work and we had a babysitter so we went to the ER for him to get checked out ... even though he felt completely fine at this point.
• ER took him right back and said it is probably GI related. Clean EKG. Vitals all looked perfect. Blood pressure and heart beat good. One final blood test showed an extremely elevated Triponin (spell?). Doc informed us that he had a mild heart attack in the past 24 hours even though he didn't present with the typical symptoms. They admitted him for an overnight stay in the hospital to run further test the next day and get checked out by a cardiologist.
• Later that night at 7:30pm New Years Day - Jamie and I are curled up in his hospital bed playing trivial pursuit on his phone. The nurse came in and suggested I go to get him something to eat since we had not eaten all day. Since Jamie was beating me at Trivial Pursuit, I decided to go get the food. I went across the street to Chilli's and got 2 salads to go.
• I returned at 7:52 with all our food. At first I thought I had the wrong floor. Then I thought maybe the doctor had shown up and all the interns and medical students were sitting in on the visit. But I quickly remembered it was not a teaching hospital. As I got closer I saw a blue, naked body laying on the hospital bed. I looked away quickly and felt sympathy for the poor guy laying on that table. Then I realized I knew that naked body. By this time, I'm in the doorway and watching as 12+ people are trying to resuscitate my husband. My beautiful, loving husband. I hear "clear" and they put the paddles on his chest.
• I'm not sure if I was in shock or not. I wasn't crying, I was not hysterical. For some reason I kept saying "He is only 39 years old." After they shocked him they still could not get a pulse. The room was chaotic and frantic. The ER doc told me to come in the room and give him a kiss. It was all very surreal. I went over and kissed his check and whispered "I love you" in his ear. Someone immediately yelled "We have a pulse." The ER doc told me to keep talking to him. He told me to tell him to fight like hell. And so I did. And the more I talked, the stronger his pulse got. I watched his body go from blue to pink. I watched him come back to life. And then suddenly, I started to freak out. A sound came out of me that I didn't know existed and I started crying loud and hard. The ER doc screamed at me to focus and to keep talking to him. I snapped out it pretty quick and I realize now that he did that to keep me from going into shock and totally freaking out at what I was witnessing. It was probably just a coincidence that Jamie came back to life once I was near him and talking to him. I guess we will never know. 
• He was without life for 6 minutes.  
• Once they got a pulse, heart rhythm, a central line in and a tube down his throat to breathe for him .... they rushed him down to the heart cath lab. They let me go with him. It was like something off of Grey's Anatomy. Once they closed the heart cath lab doors I was alone in this empty hallway in a deserted section of the hospital. And that is when I lost it.
• At some point I pulled myself off the cold, white floor and went to a waiting room. The only people in this big empty room was Lala and Bill - my mom's best friend. Evidently, while they were resuscitating Jamie, one of the medical staff told me to call someone to be with me. I sent a text to Lala saying "Can you come?" She had stopped by the ER earlier that day to check on us and of course all was fine. She must have been the last person that sent me a text so that must have been the reasoning behind me sending her a text. Fred and Vickie showed up a little bit later and I lost it again when my Freddie hugged me. 
• The heart cath was a success. 2 of his 3 main arteries were blocked - one was blocked 99% and the other 100%.  The surgery was a success and he was stable. They were not sure of brain damage at this point. The next big hurdle would be getting him off the ventilator. It was breathing for him 100%.
• Maema arrived right after the surgery. She had no idea what was going on. I called her that morning when Jamie was in the ER. Her momma instincts kicked in and she jumped in her car and came down even though I told her everything was fine and to not come. Thank goodness she didn't listen to me.
• The first 10 hours were critical.  The Cardiologist told me that if he made it past the first 4-5 hours that his chances of survival were good.   I sat in the chair next to his bed in the ICU counting the minutes, praying and sending him text messages. Here are some of those love texts:

Sent from my iPhone:

1/2/11 @ 3:35am - So im sitting here in the icu watching a ventilator breathe for you. You
scared me beyond words today. I cant believe what happened and i cant begin to describe to you how horrible it was and i pray you dont remember anything. Ive never been this scared in my life. You are my life and i cant do this wout you. I will never take one moment for granted that i get to spend with you. I love you so much. It has been 5 hours since you coded and i still cant take a deep breathe. You are so strong and i know the love you have for me and our family is strong. I KNOW you will fight and do anything you can to be with me. Ive made a lot of promises to the big man upstairs so when you get beter .... Look out!!! My sweet, sweet baby ... I love you so much.

1/2/11 @ 3:47
I kind of want to take a pic of you for some morbid reason. But i decided not to cause i never want to remember you this way. Sending you text mesgs make me calm .... Kind of like im talking to you. You are my best friend and my rock.

1/2/11 between 4am and 11ish
Finally some good news. Your lungs are clear.


My whiskers are already starting to come in so you better hurry up and get
better before i sprout a go-tee. God i love you.

I will probably get on your phone and delete all these wack job texts ive been
sending you. It is making me feel better. Cut me some slack, its 4 am, i still
havent eaten anything and im watching the love of me life fight for his life. I need you.


Have i ever told you how much i love our life together? You bring so much joy
and happiness to me. I never thought life could be so good. Please dont leave me.


You still snore a little bit even when a machine is breathing 100% for you.
Amazing. Truth be told, i love the sound of your snores. It is the thing that
seems normal about you right now.


I really had no idea what fear was until now. Thinking about losing you makes me
want to curl up in a ball in the corner and die with you. Then i think about our
precious baby girls. I keep looking at the pic of you and quinn at the redbirds
game. You guys look just alike. Ive shown everyone that comes in your room the
picture.


Wout you, nothing in this world makes sense. The next hurdle is getting you off
the ventilator. I keep hearing everyone talk about how physically strong you
are. They have no idea!!


They are going to slowly bring you out of sedation. They asked if i could handle
seeing you combative and upset ( ur still on a ventilator and they said it is
like trying to breathe through a straw). They said it might help if you hear a
loved ones voice telling you to calm down and fill you in on what is going on. I
feel like i can do anything after watching you code last night.
Ive been thinking alot about the first time we met. Great memories. I look
forward to many more.


God i hope you are not scared when they bring you out of sedation. I love you
more than anything!


So ... 5 days in the ICU and he came out of this like a rock star. Our lives will be forever changed, in more ways than one. I wish I would pour bleach on the part of my brain that holds the memories of that night. Sometimes when I lay in bed at night, the images of his eyes when he was without life are so vivid that I can smell the same smells I could that night when they were resuscitating him. Hopefully, with time, the images will fade.

We maxed out our deductible and maximum out of pocket expense on the first day of the year! Just the hospital bill alone is $122k. The rest of the bills from those 5 days are around $75k. Thank you God for insurance.

I would not call myself a "religious" person but I do consider myself a person of strong faith. I have never felt so protected and loved by my God during this time. There is no way I can put it into words. I have always thought it but now I know for certain that God will not give me more than I can handle. There are little things I could describe to give examples of this but I don't want to spill all me my darkest and most vulnerable moments!


In the ER the morning before his massive heart attack. We sent this pic to his mom to let her know that he was just fine. Just think ... this could have been the last pic I had of my handsome husband!




5 days later in the ICU. Everyone asked him if he "saw a light." When he told everyone he did not see the light his father in law (Freddie) told him he should be concerned about that! hehehehe



Adios 2010 - letter to Quinnie Ray

Dear Quinn Rayann,
You don't know it yet but you hold the softest spot in my heart. You are beautiful beyond words, inside and out. My theory is that God picked the best parts of me, the best parts of your Daddy, threw in some extra special mojo and created you. Thankfully you look like your father but every now and then I will catch a glimpse of you in a picture and I think you look just like me.
Your laugh brings smiles to everyone around you. Everything you do is for a purpose. You are genuine to the core. Your hugs and kisses are not frequent but where they lack in quantity they make up for in quality. When you show affection towards someone, you mean it. It is never for show or attention. In fact, you would much rather not be the center of attention. But you love that your twin sister is usually the center of attention. What I find cool is that I can tell you are proud of her and you love when she gets the attention that she wants.
You are still leery of everything and everyone....just as you have always been. The scariest place in the world to you is Toys R Us because of all the talking and moving toys. You still hate Halloween (except for the candy part) and anything in costume.  I'm not sure how we will every make it at Disney World next month. I might need to check into toddler tranquilizers. I'm joking...kind of.
This year you turned 4 years old. You are growing into such a responsible, loving and brilliant little girl. In the past year you have learned to control that feisty, stubborn temper a little better. You are still ridiculously picky about your clothes and your hair. Pants are a maybe but blue jeans are out of the question. You say that they give you wedgies:) So this winter we compromised. You will wear pants but they have to be soft and if they give you wedgies then you can wear them without your panties. That's right ... you are 4 and 99.999 percent of time you are going commando if you are wearing pants! Clothing can not be fitted, scratchy, too long, too short, too big, etc. You have rules about everything (Nana has said that about me since I was a little girl .... I still argue that your "rules" are worse:)! As soon as you walk in the door you start taking off all your clothes. If I let you, you would wear night gowns, go barefoot and have your hair hanging in your face all day, every day.
I can already tell that you are going to have a lot of friends. People are drawn to you. You are a girly girl. You are friendly to everyone, compassionate, patient, sensative, loving and very kind to your peers.  One thing I know for sure, people will be lucky to have you as a friend. You have a sense of loyalty and selflessness about you that is rare.
Hassie Clare is your best friend (Anna Peyton and Abby Grace come in at second and third). The two of you go to bed every night solving the problems of the world, planning your "dress-up" wardrobe for the next day and talking about the day you just had. You wake up every morning and can't wait to start playing with each other.... usually something involving barbies, dolls, stuffed animals and your very vivid imaginations. Something that has changed this year is that you have started standing up for yourself, especially against Hassie Clare. You're still patient and understanding with her but you don't let her get away with as much. In fact, you have learned to dish it out a little bit.
You rarely cry but when you do it breaks my heart. Your father turns into mush when you pop out tears. 
You are still a momma's girl through and through .... thank God!
I am very, very proud of you. Watching you grow up is one of the coolest things I've ever been a part of. I tell you all the time how much I love being your mother. Sometimes I look at you and think, "I can't believe that big, blue eyed beauty is my daughter." I'm so very, very lucky.
I'm looking forward to this next year and all the adventures it will bring. But in the meantime, I'm enjoying every single minute of my time with you.
I love you disco,
Mommy
CHEERS TO 2010!

Ciao 2010 - HC

Dear Hassie Clare,
My sweet, crazy, adventurous, wild, compassionate, little Hassie Clare bear. You surprise me on a daily basis. You have more energy in your little finger then most folks have in their entire body. You are strong, determined, shameless, brutally funny and I love every ounce of your existence.
I have said this from the second you were born and I will say it again. You are an unique soul. It is such a gift to be your mother.
You have come leaps and bounds socially over the past year. Of course Quinnie Ray is your best friend but you have made other friends at your school. If I had to guess, you will probably have more guy friends than girlfriends. You love girly things (dolls, Barbies, dress up, princess stuff, etc.) but you are amazed and giddy over boys and the way they play.
You sing from the minute you wake up in the morning until you go to sleep at night. Your all time favorite songa are Annie's "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow" and the Ariel (The Little Mermaid) song "Part of Your World."  You also enjoy singing Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift and bible songs (You've got the Whole World In Your Hands, I'm in the Lord's Army, Jesus Loves Me, etc.). My favorite are your "made-up" songs. Your nanny started writing down some of them because she thinks they will be worth a lot of money some day:) The funny part about your love of singing is that you throw in your own unique style in each song. You butcher the words on purpose. And you love to make it as dramatic as possible, especially by hitting high notes and carrying them on and on until someone acknowledges your gift. I love it!!!
One of my favorite qualities about you is your larger than life heart. You are so compassionate and you have a general concern about the health and happiness of others. You don't find that quality in many 4 year old kids.
We still struggle daily with your listening skills. I'm pretty sure it is something we will battle with for years to come. It is so hard disciplining you because you are so darn cute!
You will do anything for a laugh. Your father and I just look at each other and bust out laughing sometimes because of your "off the wall" candid humor. You are quirky and unlike anyone I've ever known. I envy you for your free spirit and your love of life.
I say this with a big grin on my face ....you have an extremely strong need to be around me at all time. You don't like me leaving the room without you and if I do leave the room you demand hugs and kisses before I leave. You get hysterically nutso if I get out of your sight when we are not at home. When I take a shower, you sit right beside the shower and periodically lean in for a kiss. You are my very own personal stalker! It drives your father crazy sometimes. I don't mind it ... for obvious reasons. I know you will grow out of it someday and when that day comes, I will be sad.
The year 2011 will be a bit challenging for you. You will be starting "big girl" school in the fall where you will be separated from me all day and from your sister part of the day. I promise this is for your own good. And I also promise to be there for you with open, loving arms and a compassionate heart.
We also have a lot to look forward to in 2011. You are starting a new gymnastics class and I know you will thrive. You have so much natural athletic ability. You will probably learn to read this year. You might even loose your first tooth.
I thank God every night that you are my daughter. You challenge me as a mother and keep me on my toes. I hope I can be more like you when I grow up!

Your #1 fan,
Mommy

P.S. I love you disco!  

ill

Our favorite little Mexican joint will never be the same.

My sweet little Quinnie Ray has been so sick. After their dance recital, we went with family and  friends for some celebratory Mexican food. We should have known Quinn was sick when she didn't want to eat anything .... normally Quinn LOVES her food and Mexican is her favorite (cheese quasadillo, rice and beans after a bowl or two of cheese dip). Towards the end of dinner (thank God it was after everyone ate) she started puking. She puked all around our table, all over her Daddy (front and back) and all the way to the front door, ohh .... and all in the parking lot. Jamie was covered and let me tell, it was not for the faint of heart!
He stripped down to his underwear in the parking lot. So there are a couple reasons why we won't be showing our face there anytime soon.

Long story short, Quinn is on her first round of antibiotics ever. She has strep throat.

Waiting to see the doctor on our first visit.

Hassie Clare let Quinn take her Grinch with her to the doctor. HUGE sacrifice for HC (I bribed her with a sucker:).

On day 3 she started feeling much better.

However, her fever never went away. So ... 13 days later and I'm starting to freak out a bit. Blood work indicates either something viral that she possibly got while she had strep ... probably when we went to the doc the first time OR mono. We should know in the next two days. Scary stuff but our doc said the blood work also ruled out the really scary stuff. For the first time ever, she weighs the same as her sister (lost 2 pounds).  Obviously I hate it when one of my kids is sick but boy o' boy do I get good lovin when my Quinnie is puny.

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2010

Times are a changin' ....

Santa 2010

Click here to see how much our little girls have changed since last year's visit with Santa. Granted, this year Quinn's hands were a sweaty mess and she is shaking like a leaf and Hassie Clare would not touch Santa because she didn't want the Grinch to get scared (so she says).  But after some negotiating she agreed to a picture as long as her Daddy held her and she got a candy cane (notice the hold she has on the back of Jamie's shirt). Maybe next year they will actually smile (a real smile ... not Quinn's "please hurry, please hurry" smile) and enjoy sitting in his lap!

Tis' the season to be .....

Blessed. Thankful. Grateful. Jolly. Overwhelmed. Busy.
I'm trying my hardest not to let the last 2 overshadow the first 4.

I love Christmas time. Let me rephrase that .... I love Christmas time but like so many others, I just don't have time to enjoy it as much as I would like. My work load is tripled between November 1 and December 31. I'm not complaining, it is a fact. Three times a work load means three times the work, no matter how you look at it.

It is December 15 and I am just starting to make out my Christmas list of things to buy. I have done a little online shopping but not much. Thankfully, we are not buying much this year because our gift to the girls is a week long trip to Disney World in January. Santa is going to bring them "essentials" for a Disney trip (luggage, princess stuff, etc.). He is also bringing them booster seats for the car (sneaky I know, but they will be super excited about riding in "big girl" booster seats in Daddy's car. We will keep the car seats in my car until they exceed 40 pounds.) And he might bring them a small TV / DVD player for their playroom so they can watch movies. Not that I don't enjoy watching Disney movies with them but they tend to watch the same movie over and over and over again for about two months (for the record, they have watched Toy Story 3 about 34 times and it's only been out for 1.5 months).

Our social schedule is full and we are still missing out on so many fun things. I'm not sure how that happened! I have kept Christmas weekend wide open .... no parties, dance recitals, open houses, school/church events ... nothing but enjoying time with the family. I plan on cleaning out the girls play room. I'm assuming it will be easier to get rid of stuff once they have new stuff to put in the room. They have a tendency to get emotionally attached to materialistic things like their daddy:) And maybe we will go to see that movie Tangled (or Tangled Up as the girls say) and eat at this burger joint we've been wanting to try (Red Robin or Cheeseburger Cheeseburger).

Despite the craziness, I still cherish all the beautiful moments this time of year brings for my family. I love to see the excitement in my daughters when they experience all the magical things Christmas brings. Every morning they jump out of bed to go see where "Elfis" our Elf is hiding.  They stare at the Christmas tree in their room and in our living room as if it is the prettiest thing they have ever seen.  They sing Christmas songs all day long and butcher all of the words (they get that from their momma). They get so excited when they see a Nutcracker because they know Nana loves Nutcrackers. Hassie Clare carries her Grinch around with her everywhere but refuses to watch the movie "The Grinch that Stole Christmas" because she thinks people are mean to him in the movie. She said it makes her too sad. I can't wait to see them on Christmas morning .... it makes all this hussle and bussle worth it!

The Grandparents from Texas drove up last weekend to celebrate the holidays with us. As always, it was a nice, laid-back weekend. Most of the weekend involved eating, shopping and more eating. The highlight of the weekend was the sweet, girly Sunday afternoon shower we (her family) had for my sister at our house. Karrie and Brent got lots of great things for Paisley! The highlight of the weekend for the girls was the new Christmas books that Glenda bought for them and read to them each night.

Next year I plan on doing things a bit different. My intentions are to simplify our lives during the Christmas holidays but I'm not sure how to go about that. Luckily I have a whole year to figure it out!

Here are a few phone pics from Uncle Dave's store (or as HC & Q say "Umple Dave's Pro Shop"):

Cause I'm a redneck woman ........

It is just me or does Hassie Clare look a little bit like the Grinch in this pic. Check out her eyebrows.

Hassie Clare asked if she could buy this. When I told her that she was too young to have a 4-wheeler she said "Well I'll ask my Maema and she will buy it for me." Quinnie agreed that she was not old enough for it because it didn't have seat belts.

Coach potato to 1/2 Marathon = 8 months

ST. JUDE MARATHON & 1/2 MARATHON - 2010

Emily, Natalie, Me & Penney - at my house before the race.

Wow .... if you had ever told me that I could finish a half marathon I would have laughed hysterically at you. Even after working out and getting into decent shape I still doubted myself.  Conquering this personal goal has been huge for me. I'm not a runner or long distance walker. I don't enjoy running or the long hours / distance of training. I'm still that self proclaimed "angry" runner. I have a bad knee and shin splints that flare up all the time. On top of that, I'm still carrying around about 40 pounds of extra baggage if you know what I mean!

However, I forgot about all of that the morning of the race. The excitement and positive energy in the air was awesome. Had I known how much fun the actual race day was going to be, I would not have whined and complained so much in the months leading up to the race .... I swear (stop laughing Penney)!

So this was my strategy - run the first 3 miles, walk up-hills and on flat stretches of the course after the first 3 miles, run down hills. For the most part I stuck with my strategy. I ran a little more then I thought I would. I pretty much ran from miles 11 - 13.1 because I was still so freakin excited. Don't let me fool you ... when I say run, I mean I jog slowly. My fear was that I would be the very last person to cross the finish line. So you can imagine my excitement when I found out that 1,098 people finished behind me! (for the record, 5843 people finished in front of me. hehehehe) My unofficial time was 2:46:36 (clocked stopped for 2 potty breaks and posing for pics with Elvis and the Memphis Tiger). My official chip time was 3:00:20. I think that averages out to be somewhere in the 13 minute mile range (I probably average a 10-11 min mile when running and a 14.5min mile when walking long distances) As you can tell .... I like stats!

Up until race day, I swore to many folks that I would NEVER do this again. No way in hell would I even consider it. Experienced marathoners just laughed at me and said just wait until after the race before you make that statement. And they were right. I'm already looking forward to the St. Jude half next year. In fact, Penney and I are thinking about doing one in Little Rock in March. I bought a t-shirt at the Marathon Expo that says "13.1 - only half crazy." And that sums it up!

Friday night our out of town friends starting rolling in from Missouri. The Hammer's (our BFF's) came down from Union (Paige did the St. Jude 5k). Two of my friends from Cape Girardeau came into town (Emily ran the full marathon and Natalie joined us for the half). We carbed up at Lonnie's. Hassie Clare and Quinn were so excited about spending the weekend with Morgan and Jenna.

Saturday morning we (the runners) got up around 4:45am to prepare for our 5:45 departure time. We were all excited and nervous. We loaded up on water, caffeine and bagels.

The house guests.

The best training buddy EVER!

Next marathon (still sounds funny coming out of my mouth) I will take a camera with me to take pics during the race. There were so many cool things! The supporters were awesome. They had a band playing music about every mile. Several Elvis's and folks in costume. The Village People - amazing to watch hundreds of runners in front of you doing the arm motions of Y M C A. The most touching and emotional part of the event for me was between miles 4-5 when we ran through the St. Jude campus. I was overcome with emotion. It was the fastest mile I ran throughout the entire race even though I could not see through my tears. I wondered about how many parents had sat in the very parking lot I was running in and cried their eyes out for their sick child. I felt so lucky and thankful.

After the race - yes I realize my training partner looks the same as she did in our "before race" pic and I look like a hot mess:) I also realize that I'm holding a banana and a beer - perfect snack after finishing a half marathon.

Benji and Jamie brought all the kids downtown and met us after the race. We went to BB Kings on Beale St. for lunch and celebration drinks.

After a fabulous lunch, the Dad's thought it would be nice to take their little princess's on a Cinderella carriage ride around downtown.

We ended the night with cupcakes from our new favorite cupcake place, strong drinks with good friends and a nice, long soak in the hot tub. It was a fantastically, awesome day!

Our out-of-town company left Sunday around lunch time and Morgan reminded us to take our traditional "the Hammer's are leaving" pic.

Special thanks:

To my supportive husband for all of the encouragement and endless hours of holding the fort down while I was at the gym. To my Mom & Fred for all of those Tues. and Thur night late hours with the girls while I was at the gym or doing my long runs. To my friend and training buddy, Penney Lane, for just being you. My favorite part of this journey has been our blossoming friendship.

Penney and I - October 2010 - midway through training.

 So I set out this year to get healthier so that I could set a good example for my kids. But, somewhere along the way, it turned into me setting goals for myself which has made me stronger and more confident.  At times I felt selfish but in the end I realized that it is okay to do something purely for myself. I think it creates balance in my life and hopefully makes me a better mom. I've realized that exercising is a privilege and I hope I never take this privilege for granted again!

TSU Homecoming 2010

I finished grad school and left Troy, AL 13 years ago and have never been back. I never really had a need or saw a point. All my friends, teammates and roommates finished school and moved on to start their lives. We all live all over the country and we have all been busy getting married, starting families, buying houses, building careers, etc.
I'm still close with my college volleyball coach. Although I hated her guts for most of my college career, she is now a dear friend to me.  She still lives and works in Troy and invited us down for Troy University's Homecoming (formerly Troy State University).
Jamie and I opted to leave the girls at home and take advantage of a "grown-up's only" weekend.  Maema drove down to hold the fort down. Knowing how much fun the girls were having with Maema helped a great deal with all the worry and anxiety I felt leaving them for 3 days.
I never took out the camera but here are a few phone pics we snapped.

Barb Sherwood - a teammate of mine.

Trojan Pride



Coach and I tailgating.



    
We got hooked up with great tickets in the Trojan Club press box. Totally different experience then sitting in the student section. We partied like rock stars most of the weekend. I forgot how good the oysters are at my fav restaurant in Troy. I ate about 3 dozen of them in 2 days:) I got to see a handful of folks I knew from my old college days.... mostly people from the athletic department or that worked for the team.
My wonderful hubby was amazing on this trip. He had to listen to so many "ohh that use to be ..." and "this one time we ...." and "we had so much fun doing ..." but he never complained and actually sounded interested. We talked about how I arrived in Troy when I was barely legal and left a grown woman. It was the perfect place for me to go through that transition in life. I spent a good part of the 90's living in this laid back town that is full of spirit. It was familiar and comfortable to me. Even though the campus has grown and some buildings have changed, I still had that same sense of comfort I had all those years ago. TSU will always hold a special place in my heart!

College Daze - 1st semester

**To Hassie Clare and Quinn - No matter what I tell you when you are deciding on college's or when you are away for your freshman year ... this is the honest to God's truth. So just in case the story gets sugar coated or blown out of proportion, you will have the "real" story. My mom (Nana) still tells us she had to ski 20 miles to catch a bus for school every morning!

I went off to college at 18 years old on a full volleyball scholarship. We (me, mom and dad) choose Troy State University in southern Alabama. 8 long hours away from home. No car. No friends. Did not know a soul in Troy, AL. No cell phones. No computers. I arrived on campus a month before students arrived for pre-season volleyball. The team lived in a horrendous co-ed dorm with community bathrooms. We lived on the 5th floor. No elevators. Pre-season included 3 practices a day with long runs in the early morning. It was hell. I thought I was going to die physically and emotionally. No joke.
Things improved slightly when the students arrived. I got to move into the freshman dorm. Equally as disgusting with community bathrooms and it was haunted (Shackelford Hall ... look it up). Practices got easier and the season began.
I cried every night on the phone with my mom and every morning. I had to call collect (HC and Q - google it for a definition) and it was pay by the minute for long distance. My mom would send me care packages. She would spray her perfume on wash clothes and mail them to me. I would sleep with them laying over my face. I would tuck them into my pillow case so that when I crawled into bed at night I could smell her. She also mailed me her favorite silk night gown doused in her perfume. I slept in it every night and didn't wash it for 3 months. I was 18 years old and away from my mom for the first time ever.... cut me some slack:)
I remember breaking down and begging my mom to let me move home. She said in her sweetest, motherly voice, "Of course you can leave college but where will you live? You can't live here. Where will you work? I'm sure you could get a job as a waitress since you only have a high school diploma and maybe you could live with some of the other waitresses. Why don't you call your dad and see if you can live with him."  I was so young and navie that I believed her. I envisioned me living in a box on the side of the road.
Once volleyball season began and classes started, I managed to get by. I made a few friends that were on the golf team. I enjoyed traveling with the team and the home games but my social life was limited due to curfews set by the coaching staff and athletic department.
Finally it was Christmas break. I had a decent 1st season, my grades were not up to par but I got to go home for an entire month. I had no intentions of ever coming back.
I worked at William-Sonoma in the factory through a temp service that placed college kids that were home for the holidays. I worked second shift, on the line, next to a prostitute. She didn't have a tooth in her mouth but she was full of wisdom. She shared many stories with me that left me scared, thankful and determined. I didn't see her the last week I worked there until my last day of work. She was limping, could barely walk upright and was all beat up. She told me her pimp "spanked" her. I remember going to the break room bathroom (where I spent most breaks and lunches) and crying. I wonder what ever happened to her.
I decided that night that I would change my attitude and make the most of it. I'd give it one more semester. After New Year's, I hitched a ride with the kicker off the football team that was coming through Memphis. Within 3 days of being back at college for my second semester, I was in love. No ... not with the kicker but with college life. Volleyball season was over so we didn't have a curfew. In fact, our coaching staff quit and it was a free for all for the volleyball players. I started partying like a rock star, gained the freshman 20 and was loving life. Mom knew right away things were different because several days would go by before I would call her. Fred was thankful because the $500+ telephone bills dropped tremendously:)
Life was good. I still didn't have a car. I relied on friends to take me to Walmart or the grocery. I lived off $180 per month (child support). Of course my room and board was paid for through my scholarship but I still had to pay for 4 or 5 meals a week out of pocket. I had to budget for shampoo, make-up, feminine supplies, dorm food, BEER, cover-charges at The Porch, day trips to Panama City Beach, BEER, clothes ...anything and everything I could possibly need.  I always started each semester with a huge box of Ramein Noddles (still hard for me to eat them to this day). $180 had to be stretched a long, long way.

I had fallen in love with college life. So much so that I spent the next 6 years living it at TSU. 4 years of undergrad and playing volleyball and 2 years in graduate school and coaching softball. I can't imagine what my life would have been like had my mom made it easy for me to drop out and move home. Tough love at it's finest. I have so many priceless memories from those years. I would not change one single thing about my college years!

Spooktacular Halloween Week - 2010

Despite the girls (especially Quinnie) being petrified of anything Halloween (besides pumpkins, black cats and ghosts that have smiles on their face), we had a fun filled week of Halloween activities and birthday parties. Shockingly, the girls stuck with the costumes they picked out 2 months ago. Maema got her monies worth out of the costumes because they wore them three times in one week.

Jessie & Woody from Toy Story

Hassie Clare makes her sister laugh like no one else can.



  

 FALL FESTIVAL @ OUR CHURCH

They had a plethora of children's games and activities, moon bounces and slides, treats and all sorts of cool stuff for kids inside the church. This was our third year and it has grown into a big event.  

They took pictures of the kids on the alter.

With our bellies full of popcorn, we took a hayride out to a field behind the church where they had a bonfire church service. We attempted to get hot dogs and snacks but they ran out about 2 people in front of us. So then we snuck out to our car before the service started and headed to Lonnie's for some pasta. Shh .. don't tell anyone:) God understands.

STURGEON'S ANNUAL HALLOWEEN PARTY 
We were lucky enough this year to get to bring Jack and Josie. Thank goodness I had them with me because Jamie got a call out for work while in route to the party. Taking Quinn to an outdoor Halloween party takes a team. If Jack had not been with us we would have left the party after being there for 5 minutes. He reasons with them, explains things to them and comforts them. They trust him wholeheartedly.  He is such a good boy.




Quinn with my girlfriend Jennifer (the hostess). It took Quinn all night to get the courage to take a picture with her. What surprised the heck out of me was that HC would not get anywhere near her (I told her if she was really Alice she would at least take a picture with the Mad Hater).  

Goofy girls.



My new favorite pics. When I look at this picture my heart fills up with warm, mushy stuff.

SATURDAY - BIRTHDAY PARTIES

We started the day off with a delivery from Edible Arrangements. Maema sent the girls a Happy Halloween bouquet full of fruit and chocolate covered goodies. It was wonderful.

Normally we only commit to 1 birthday party a day. But we had 2 very special birthdays that we could not miss.  Unfortunately, Jamie missed the entire day because he got a call out for work. He was missed!

The girls have a BFF from school, Anna Peyton. They have been in love with this little girl for 2 years and the feeling is mutual.

After the party at The Little Gym.

 The party girls in between our dual parties. Thankfully we had a 45 minute car ride across town!

  

And last but not least, our very dear and special friend Riley Greer. These 3 little girls have more in common than what meets the eye. They will be bonded together for life because of their special birth stories and because Riley's parents are 2 of our best friends.

We ended the day with a trip to the mall. We could live in the Disney Store! Quinn talked me into purchasing Toy Story t-shirts for the whole family. She was so cute picking out a buzz Light Year shirt for daddy, Jessie shirts for her and her sister and a shirt with all the characters for me. I couldn't resist her!

HALLOWEEN

We followed normal Halloween tradition and spent the evening at the Hagel's home. Good friends, family and food. We broke tradition this year and decided not to go trick or treating with the big kids. Both of the girls were spooked and to be honest, Jamie and I just didn't fill like the drama. So we packed up at trick or treat time and headed to Nana's house. She lives in a neighborhood with street lights, sidewalks and the houses are close together. We trick or treated for about an hour and it worked out perfectly. The girls even went up to doors by themselves. We had practiced all day saying "trick or treat" and "thank you." I tell ya, I got teary eyed a few times watching them. They seemed so grown up. At one point Jamie looked at me and said "Wow. I really feel like a parent right now." All of the sudden we are parents of kids that can walk up to a house by themselves, converse with an adult, make decisions and return to us with smiles. When did this happen!!!!!