Hello Collarbone

So I'm 82 days (a week shy of 3 months) into my new eating habits .... not that I'm counting. This mornings weigh-in confirmed that I have lost 40 pounds. I understand that 40 pounds is A LOT and that it is a big deal but I have a lot more to go. I'm kind of in a slump right now so I didn't get that excited about the big 4 O. But I won't lie, seeing parts of my skeletal structure again has been rewarding ... it's been awhile since I've seen them.
The past 2 weeks have been rough on my diet - my birthday, Maema in town, Easter, home renovations (no access to my kitchen for 5 days). So I thought if I blogged about some of my goals it would help me be accountable.


I started exercising again about 6 weeks ago. Man o' man ... I can't get enough. I was an athlete up until about 12 years ago. My entire life until then was consumed by sports. I had a great high school and college career. I even had a full ride for undergrad and graduate school. Playing sports paid 100% for my education. With that came a lot of hard work. For 10ish years I had coaches determining my every move. They planned my daily events, my classes, my sleep schedule, my vacations, my meals, my EVERYTHING. Not just in season but year around (minus the summer of 93 when our entire coaching staff quit and they didn't rehire anyone for 3 months.... that was a good summer:).

After Grad school I moved back to my hometown and I dropped sports and anything related to my athletic past like a hot potatoes. It was liberating. It felt good. I felt free.

Fast forward 12 years, a husband, twins, health issues, fertility treatments, desk job, bad shoulders and knees from all the years of sports ....... and I was in a place I never thought I would let myself be. I was in horrible shape and 80 pounds overweight (really about 115 but I haven't weighed that since junior high school). I'm 6'1 for pete's sake.

It was the one thing in my life I didn't try to control. So what did I do ... I took control. Amazingly enough, it has been a fairly easy 2.5 months. The first 2 weeks were HORRIBLE. I was starving. I had headaches. All I could think about was food. And then around day 10 it all went away. About 7 or 8 weeks into it I had lost 25 pounds and felt like I needed to start exercising. I joined a gym and started taking every class I could until I found something I really liked. Being a team sport person, I thrive in a group setting. Turns out I’m addicted to Spinning and a class called Pump (one hour of weights with a high heart rate). I also enjoy step aerobics and body combat classes. Classes work for me. I push myself harder for whatever reason.

I've been working out now for about 6 weeks. I make every effort to get to the gym 6 days a week. Trust me it is not always easy but I look forward to it every day. I forget about everything about 20 mins into the workout. No stress, no kids, no family, no work, no phone, no computer, no animals, NOTHING but me. The hard part is being away from my family so I try to work around their schedule. For instance, I go early sat mornings before they wake up. I'm home from a 2-hour workout by the time they finish breakfast.

So here are list of my goals from when I started this journey:

· stick to a diet plan 100% for 30 days straight - CHECK

· give up caffeine - CHECK

· lose the weight of one of the girls (32 pounds) by my 36th birthday - CHECK

· start exercising - CHECK

· Exercise for 1 hour at least 4 times a week - CHECK

· run 1 mile without stopping (I HATE RUNNING) - CHECK

· run 2 miles without stopping ( I HATE RUNNING) - CHECK

· Lose 40 pounds within 3 months - CHECK

· Lose 50 pounds within 4.5 months

· Lose 80 pounds by September 1, 2010

· Continue working out a minimum of 3 days a week

So there you have it. I'm ashamed that I became "that person" I always said I'd never be but I'm proud that I've made a change. I’m pissed that I can lose 40 pounds and still wear the same size clothes. Granted, I was popping out of them all over the place (picture a can of biscuits after you pop it open) and I couldn't breathe before and now they are super baggy. I'm even madder that gravity is not my friend.  

But the bottom line is that I feel in control and that makes me happy. I have 2 little girls that will grow up in a society that has unrealistic ideas of what a woman’s body should look like. The least I can do is teach them to eat healthy, exercise and feel good about themselves, regardless of what size they wear or what they look like. This was my motivation when I started this journey.

I've said it before and I'll say it again .... I WILL NOT FAIL AT THIS.