Lazy Weekend

For the first time in 5 months, we had a lazy weekend. And it was wonderful. I felt like we had good quality family time. We read a lot of books, watched movies, played "pretend" and did a handsome amount of laughing and sleeping.

I'm sure I'm not the first mom to experience this but I thought it was worth blogging about. I have a feeling I'll look back on this blog entry in 10 years and think ..... it was only the beginning. Hassie Clare woke up Sat morning around 3am throwing up. Jamie set up camp for us on the couch, equipped with a large mouth garbage can lined with several bags, clean towels, wet wash clothes and the remote control. Hassie Clare and I snuggled in on the couch watching Sesame Street, MaggieBeast and Blues Clues. She laid on my chest. Every 20 mins she would look up at me and say "I need to throws up" and we would sit up to the garbage can. Poor thing. Her belly was completely empty by the second hour of this. This continued for four and a half hours. Not too bad ... could of been worse and so far no one else has gotten sick (KNOCK ON WOOD).

So here is my point, over the course of the next 2 days, Hassie Clare could do no wrong in my eyes. Her cry hurt my heart more then ever. I felt a strong need to meet her every need and load her up with hugs and kisses even when she was not being very nice. I could not have possibly loved on her more or told her I loved her anymore then I did. We all know Hassie Clare walks to the beat of her own drum and can be a handful:) But after seeing her so sick I started thinking about all the little kids and babies that are "really sick." I can't imagine the indescribable grief and helpless feeling the parents must go through. I have this overwhelming feeling of gratefulness that my kids are healthy. Along with this gratefulness comes fear, an overwhelming fear, a sick at my stomach-I might have a panic attack-put them in a bubble fear, that something will happen to them. It consumes my mind more then I ever thought it would. I usually live in the present, plan for the future and don't worry about the "what ifs." But I can't seem to shake this feeling of worry. Not only when they are sick but every time they leave the house, especially when I am not with them. Does it get easier as they get older? Does it get harder? Or am I certifiable and need to be locked away in the nut house? NO COMMENTS ON THAT LAST QUESTION PLEASE :)