I'm just going to say it ..... Quinn might possibly be possessed. She has been psycho-toddler lately. She becomes enraged with .... I don't know what. She screams bloody murder and becomes out of control over the smallest things. Yesterday it was because her pants didn't fit her right. Today is was because she hit her sister and refused to go to time out. I've tried everything but nothing seems to work except putting her in her room, shutting the door (holding the door shut) and waiting until she calms down. It is horrible and it lasts for a really, really, really long time.
The weird part is that 85% of the time she is a perfect child. She never gets in trouble at school. She does almost anything I ask. She is polite and sweet to others. She follows directions to perfection. She is loving, compassionate and usually a joy to be around.
I wish I could teach her some balance. She carries the weight of the world on her shoulders. I'm so frustrated and frustration leads to bad parenting (with me it does).
I need to do some research and find a good book that can help me understand why she does this and what I can do to help her / guide her / teach her. I'm also going to talk to her pediatrician.
After every ugly tantrum I make it a point to hold her and love on her. I tell her how much I love her. I tell her that even when I'm mad and disappointed in her that I love her. I tell her that she is a good little girl and that it is okay to get mad and angry but there are better ways to express those emotions.
I tell her all this for her and for me. I'm always full of guilt after her tantrums. I'm mad at myself for getting angry at her or for not handling the situation the right way. I have no control over her when she gets "crazy." I feel helpless and I HATE feeling helpless when it comes to my kids.
So, looking through old pics of my oldest daughter has made me smile. I was looking through them as she was screaming in her room, coming off yet another tantrum that was brought on because she didn't want to change out of her night gown to go play outside (so she got to stay in her bed with her night gown on while HC and the nanny played outside). When I look at the pictures and see her amazingly beautiful blue eyes, I realize that this is just a phase in her life. Someday we will look back and laugh about these tantrums (I hope). She won't believe me when she is 36 and I'm telling her about how awful they were and how distraught I was watching her melt down. This to shall pass.
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